Stop & Stare

Well, it's been a long week. Had not updated in ages. Not that there was the need to update as no one reads it anyway.

Love is in the air i guess. Unfortunately i guess it doesn't work for everyone. Does it? I really feel sad for my friend. I guess we got to give and take. Don't we? If you like someone, it doesn't unnecessarily mean that person would like you or has to like you. Love cannot be forced, neither be desperate. There's not point getting a girlfriend just because you don't have one. If you really like the person, go for it. If it doesn't work out, just too bad. Nothing can be done. Maybe that person might just like you the next time. Give some time. Time can do wonders. It can heal, it can fix many things, as well as destroy them. Time is essential to everything.

Actually there's nothing called time. I would prefer to call it evolution, expansion, development. Time is quantum space. When we move something from a different place to another, it's changing time. Time was created to make life easier to function. A particular thing of today wouldn't have been at the same place a century ago. Travel back and you will realize that where you are is different, but actually you are at the same place. Only the surrounding has changed, different prospects have shifted else where or destroyed and replaced. Sounds complex, but true indeed.

Well, however time affects everyone, i guess it doesn't affect me. To be able to see what comes before it is a gift. I manage time well, but sometimes you feel so tired and sad that you fail to do anything. I live in a delusional world. It's like playing a movie of yourself in your head, before the real thing happens.

I still feel the empty void inside. No one to hug, no one to kiss, no one to caress or take care. Sometimes i feel that my dreams are better then reality. Certain aspects will come true, the others will fade away.

Well, last week when i was going back home, this little girl and her mom stood next to me on the bus. The bus was pretty crowded. There was once a point the bus jerked bad. Everyone grabbed the poles tightly. The little girl could barely reach the poles. She grabbed my hand instead. I let her do so. Even the little girl had some trust in me, that i wouldn't let her down.

I felt happy. Having a little child hold your hand is like joy. A joy that one will not experience if you were a parent. I like children very much. Some day wish to have my own. I'm not a pedophile though. I'm not seeking sexual satisfaction from children. I'm looking for a satisfaction of a different kind. To raise a child, to see her grow and become someone better then i am. To see your legacy continue. To become a legend in their hearts. That is ultimate satisfaction. Extreme happiness. The road may be rough, but the path taken is a wise choice. Reach the end and you will see the light of the horizon.

However i guess i can only see it through my eyes. The world is how you wish it to be. For me, it is how i wish it not to be. How much it could be better. Without selfish thoughts. A better place, where everyone helps each other. No one just goes about minding their own business. A principle i preach everyday, is that even if you can't help, never harm anyone. Even if you are the subject of denial or rejection. Never harm them. Protect the innocent. Save the weak. Fight for justice. Fight through the pain.


GMAN


Picture: Courtesy of Google